When I look back and remember, my most difficult years were Grade 5-7 partly because I moved cities with my parents and had few friends at that time but also because those were the tween years! Aargh! Those blessed dreaded tween years when your brain is changing faster than your body, and sometimes it’s the other way around. When you feel the teenage angst but you can’t own it, not just yet. Tween life is tough and this year we reached that milestone in our home!
A few weeks ago we were going through some rough waters – I in my business partnership and my older one in the school yard. That’s when I sat down to write about life lessons I wanted to pass on to my kids before they turn 12. With slow summer days now is a great time to talk with kids about life, friends, happiness and everything in between.
Dalai Lama and why his teachings apply to your tween’s life
I know it sounds way out there but stay with me. Dalai Lama XIV, the Tibetan spiritual leader and his teachings DO resonate in our daily lives. And I was surprised to learn his lessons also apply to our kids as they navigate the daily stresses of their own lives.
9 Pieces Of Tween Advice From The Dalai Lama
1. “Do not let the behaviour of others destroy you inner peace.”
What it says! Surrounded by changing friendships and social dynamics remember, what your frenemy says about you says more about her character than yours. I just hope my 10 year-old remembers this when it counts.
2. “Silence is sometimes the best answer.”
There will be times when you will feel the pressure to comment and commit. Take a breath, stall, and give the universe a chance to handle it for you.
3. “Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.”
When a feeling of negativity ties your heart, soul and brain up in knots, push it away because optimism feels better. I know because I’ve gone through it.
4. “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”
People don’t always want your help; they may not even deserve your help. But the next is what matters – if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.
5. “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
6. “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”
Growing up comes with choices and decisions many of which you are starting to make yourself. Keep an open mind and perhaps a new wonderful adventure is just around the corner.
7. “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
The project you are assigned in school, the kid sitting next to you, there are so many things that are out of your control. Don’t waste your heart and brain worrying about them, focus on what you can do.
8. “Open your arms to change but don’t let go of your values.”
Life is going on all around you and it will pull you in a million different directions. It is fun I promise but hang on to your values and beliefs and the journey will be even more enjoyable.
9. “Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”
I’m not sure if I want you to know about this one just yet. Dalai Lama you are a sneaky one!
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